[TheN] and [NoW]!

ohj738

i need a coffee buddy.

technically, a juice and hot chocolate / iced coffee buddy.. since i dont drink coffee too much.. it has weird effects on me...

anyways.. i just need someone who can sit by me comfortably in a cafe or coffee shop and just stare at the world around. someone who'll listen in the silence (and maybe even noise) with me.. or listen to me occasionally thinking out loud. But of course the exchange would be mutual.

And during the times when i feel like talking... Someone who'll listen to me talk about anything in the world that matters and anything that doesn't... talk about the trivialities and the nonsensicalities of anything and everything... and be able to comment on the things i say.. or even laugh at the things i say when im no longer making sense. Someone who can talk about all those things as well.. Someone who knows when not to talk about something burdensome at the moment.. Someone who'll let the hours pass by... someone who can, with me, feel that there is nothing to worry about - even for a few good hours.

Someone who'll bum out with me and yet have fun with just sitting and sipping a cup of coffee / whichever beverage he/she prefers...

that someone willing enough to spare a good few hours...say 24... kidding.. a couple will do...

ohj738

im hating dorm life right now.. i actually never absolutely loved living in a dorm... i liked it at some point.. lalo na nung nasa Kalai pa aku.. now, im well, at the despise side.. but i do prefer it over a boarding house.. anyway, let me just indulge myself in this biased tally of pros and cons..

**in no particular order** 

PROs:

1. convenient

    - within the campus (in my case).. could be near your building as well(my case again last school year).. no additional transportation fare deducted from your allowance. 

2. dorm activities

    - this part also included in the cons.. i like some dorm activities because they make living in the dormitories a lot less dull. although i don't really participate in them, just the thought that the dorm is "alive" makes this place a little more lively and bearable to live in.

3. the people

    - this i particularly pertain to my experience in kalai.. buti na lang nag-kalai ako (although andaya, kasi mas maganda na kalai ngaun =[ ), if it weren't for my stay there i would have definitely opted for a boarding house an alternative place to stay. anyway, i met great friends when i was in kalai.. not to mention my boyfriend.. they made kalai special.. [i suddenly miss them more.. hay]

4. cheap

    -  compared to wherever else, living in a dormitory is way cheaper. unless i have a house in the campus or in katipunan or philcoa, which i dont.

CONs:

[prepare for biased opinions, again.. in no particular order] 

note that i am not a socialite.. i do not socialize unless people socialize with me (that didn't sound right xS) .. basta un!

1. noise

    - its everywhere. the worst thing is its there whenever you DO NOT need it nor want any of it.

2.  the people

    - well...now, i am not pertaining to kalai.. if you know where im staying now, just keep it to yourself.. haha...  its just that there are some people i could otherwise not live with, let alone deal with. andaming insensitive people.. hilig magpahiya, hilig mag-ingay... basta.. and they aren't as friendly.. so i prefer not minding them. bow.

3. rules

    - nothing much to explain, refer to number 4 na rin.

4. no place to do anything!

    - this, in particular, might be appropriate only in this dorm.. bawal maglaptop sa lobby.. bawal gumawa ng kahit ano sa lobby except tumambay and entertain people and magmeeting.. well, i guess un nga  ang purpose ng lobby.. pero basta.. and there's no proper venue in the dorm to do a project.  basta.. un.. pati tv, you have to settle with  wowowee in the afternoon.. ugh!

5. dorm activities

    - most are scheduled in the most hectic of weeks. ewan ko ba.. most of the time they cram all activities into a week or a month and then they require you to attend this and that.. hay.

6. no food

    - this does not apply to all dorms.. basta dito walang food. and iisa ang ref.. kamusta? which reminds me.. andaming pinagbabawal sa mga residents dito.. pero i remember.. bawal magbusiness inside the dorm.. at.. *let me spare you with this nonsense..im just pissed off with ... blah blah blah*

7. facilities

    - they've seen better days! especially in our wing. we have the ugliest bathroom.

8. internet connection..

    - its not 24 hours in this dorm.

9. water

    - yes, we have had water problems. both drinking water and tap water. 

let me leave it to this for now,.. i have homework to do.. inilabas ko lang inis ko =] hahaha! 

ohj738

at this very moment.. we're here at our building - the new CS building- supposedly doing our problem set (taken from MIT open courseware problem set), but taking a break for a while.. so net muna. we'll be staying here overnight to finish the project.. which means NO sleep once again.. but, im not really complaining. We just came from trinoma and ate at Cabalen (eat all you can) for free... nilibre kami ng instructor namin. super fun! bonding moments. i missed my freshman year in college, and today reminded me very much of that.albeit, not the very same people, not all the same friends.. but almost the same feeling... almost...

there has been a lot going on...difficult, frightening.. maddening.. but im pulling through somehow.. there's not just enough time to think about them all.. *acad mode muna*

maybe ill find time to write about it and finally realize the senselessness of it all...

anyway.. time is about to be up..

.........

napasaya ko ng kanta na tinutugtog ni ivy... =]

"everything's so different... everything's so different Lord" 

ohj738

its almost 4am.. i slept at around 8:30pm to 11:30pm because of a really painful headache i was having. i guess i really just needed sleep even for a couple of hours. Im not lying in bed now since i'm taking advantage of my unusual self. Sinipag ako gumawa ng project tonight, which is unlikely. By this time dapat tulog na ko or inaantok nang sobra.. or bangag na at di maintindihan ang ginagawa.. Probably since i slept a few hours ago, i still have sanity left in me to finish a project and do more work. Yey! [sana ganito aku palagi] . But, my headache is beginning to wage yet another war. I will sleep after I blog!

anyway.. i also need want a digicam. for a loooong time now. there have been too many events that i wanted to capture and i know i will want look back to in the future.. just like the recently held UP Centennial Kickoff.. parties with my best friends... family outings/events... dates.. and the not-so-ordinary things that pop out in ordinary days.

i have always been fond of collecting and taking pictures. Well, if you have seen all of my previous wallets, they instead serve the primary purpose of a photo album, secondary purpose lang ang magtago ng pera . I have more pictures in it than money. At home, i have photos i OC-ly organized in albums. now, i just keep pictures in my multiply account since di na uso ang analog cams. Some albums even just have pictures grabbed from a friend. How sad...

anyway, i've just started to save for a digicam.. sana lang makaipon..

wala lang.. sharing lang..

ohj738

christmas was expected... but the new year???

it hasn't turn out the way i was hoping it would.. i was hoping it to be more like last year.. but i guess we're really getting older now.. no more plenty fireworks (not even some sparklers) and no new year's eve dinner.. i was feeling sad for our younger cousin.. he's one of the few children (non-teen) left since almost all of us are of the same age bracket.. and would you believe he bought the fireworks to share with us? i didn't want to let him down so i had a roman candle to light tonight. roman candles, fountains.. those stuff he bought hoping for a better new year. I took his offer to play mini billiards, however, having not a well lighted place to set the table up we couldn't play. He's at their home now, playing nintendo with my sister. I'm supposed to follow after, but im not sure i would be joining them.

here i am, letting all the pretty lights go by and just listening to the sound of the CPU fan and the booming of the fireworks. letting the year pass by quietly, i guess... im just waiting for the hour to pass and give Mark a call. I have not greeted anyone a decent 'Happy New Year' yet except for my cousins and tita earlier..oh.. and my 2 groupmates sa Probset.

 inside i am excited for the coming year.. new plans,.. new hopes.. but that got me thinking.. i have not prepared my new year's resolution yet.. well, it'll come as it pleases.. haha!

so yeah, im spending new year infront of the PC.. blogging, under three layers of clothes for comfort and warmth, with a sore throat,a runny nose and thundering coughs once in a while.. oh yeah, and not to forget 2 problem sets... so yeah.. ain't it great!

i dont mean to sound sarcastic.. but i really am trying to make the best of the new year.. 

give me a moment to unleash all these negative vibes before midnight..
sounding a bit superstitious there.. 

what the heck!

enjoy the pretty lights with all ten fingers, 2 eyes and a nose.. and your complete set of body parts! make noise! have fun! jump high!

have a great new year everyone! =] 

ohj738

i wasn't expecting much from this Christmas for a few reasons...

(1) dad didn't/wasn't able to come.. 

(2) my bestest cousin still is somewhere in Brunei.. working.. she took a leave of absence from school since she needed stuff and couldn't get more subjects than one. so i miss her a lot...

(3) the arpif christmas party wasn't complete either.. ate joiy couldn't come and ate sammy still is in japan... for some exchange-student-like thingy.

(4) all my crazy relatives migrated abroad so there was fewer people to celebrate christmas with.

(5) i had an MP i needed to pass yesterday (dec 26).. so i spent most of Dec 25 trying to finish it.

but then again, im thankful for the cousins i have here still for making it better.. despite the long times we don't really get to mingle and bond (we are literally just neighbors here in Baguio)... and for the gifts we received.. oohh! not to forget the preChristmas dinner and the Christmas day lunch! yummm!

what was unexpected was receiving one of the best gifts i could receive.. An apology... my cousin talked to me and asked me about how i was and stuff.. and told me he was sorry for something he had done in the past. Though the conversation felt awkward, i was able to pull myself together and say that it was ok.. past is past, right? apparently not for him... he was feeling all this guilt all this time and this was the moment, on Christmas day, to apologize. I told him i was ok and that he shouldn't worry about it.. promise..

i realized that the apology wasn't for me.. or maybe a little for me.. but more for my cousin.. knowing that he is finally relieved of the guilt he had was ok with me.. i've forgiven him a long time ago.. i guess that conversation has finally put an end to that.

now it's finally over.. no more ties to the past.. and good riddance to it too...

what a merry Christmas! =] 

ohj738

its barely been two months.. and it seems as if the days are a downpour heavier than the previous.

i cant help but sulk and stress myself out even more.. i just long for better days where the things i miss would again be the things i take for granted.

i miss..

.. real food.. home cooked meals and snacks

.. lazy days

.. keeping myself occupied with a book to read

.. those better days with him

.. laughing out loud

.. not caring about anything at all

.. long hours of sleep

.. stealing a few hours being alone 

.. our home and our noisy, stinky, hyper dog

.. friends that wanted your company

.. friends that raided your home

.. shared secrets 

.. long sensible and funny conversation

.. my family

and the list does not end here.. 

the burden, heavier.. the day, nearer..